Human transformation can begin with the simple and powerful act of creating space to listen to a person’s unique and special story of their journey. I recently had the honor of facilitating one of several Parent Cafés with the theme “Trusting Relationships”. We began our Café by grounding, feeling the pressure of where we were all sitting. We felt gravity and a connection to the earth and to the room we were in. I expressed that we are all right here and safe. If parents had trouble closing their eyes, I asked them to see what was in the room or outside the window, the way the shadows hit the walls and floor or the colors of the grains of the wood floor. We also found a way to feel our breath, breathing in deeply and slowly exhaling to let the air out. Once we were all grounded, we placed our hands over our hearts and sensed that the touch was light enough to feel tenderness towards ourselves and safety in the space.

“¡FELIZ 5 DE MAYO!” me dijo una persona afroamericana en 1998 cuando yo recién había inmigrado del estado de Michoacán, México. Yo amablemente conteste “Gracias” sin saber realmente por qué celebramos el 5 de mayo ya que en Michoacán, este no es un día de celebración. Me di cuenta de que, por mi origen mexicano, yo daba la impresión de que yo celebraba este día.

“HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!” said an African-American person to me in 1998 when I had just immigrated from the state of Michoacán, Mexico. I kindly answered "Thank you” without really knowing why we celebrate May 5th because in the state of Michoacán, this is not a day of celebration. I realized that, because of my Mexican origin, it gave the impression that I celebrated this day.

What does it mean to be on a journey to physical vitality? Physical Vitality is the health and well-being of your body. It’s the Vitality Domain that focuses on how you want your body to look and feel. It also addresses your attitudes and habits regarding nutrition, exercise, sleep and mindfulness. What really motivates us to take care of our bodies physically? What tips or tools assist us with staying fit? And, as I’ve been thinking about lately, how have our bodies changed over time?

We are in a time of collective movement around the lifting of veils and the illumination of shadows. You would have to be trying very hard to remain ignorant to the emergence of these stories that were once silenced coming into voice. It is a strong, potent, rattling, traumatizing event that is still in its beginning stages as we have so many stories to hear, so much untold that deserves Truth and Reconciliation.

What if building the Protective Factor of resilience is less about discipline and skill building and more about radical self-empathy? Being your own best friend. Suspending self-doubt. Making brave choices to validate your own feelings, forgive your mistakes, and trust your soul’s guidance. If you are not a toxic narcissist, if you spend a lot of your time and energy caring for and about other people’s needs, then it’s very possible that your resilience will be enhanced by giving yourself permission to focus on your peace. 

Breaking it down, here’s Way 3 from Be Strong Families’ book, Living the Protective Factors: How We Keep Our Children Safe and Families Strong: 

In a way, what I’m feeling currently is the most gratifying stage since beginning the parenting journey with my wife. To boil it all down, parenting is hard and tiring, and when your kid is really struggling, it’s hard to know what to do.

For the past three years, we have been hosting Cafés in the Kane County Adult Justice Center through the Changing Children’s Worlds Foundation. Four times a year, we facilitate a 10-12-session parenting program that begins with a Café to set the tone for engaging people and creating a space where they want to show up and share. Without having those Cafés, I know we’d have only a few graduates.

On March 13-14, 2019, teams from Be Strong Families, NorthEast Treatment Centers, and the Greater Tilton Area Family Resource Center met to begin the process of co-creation. Over the course of the two days, we used Appreciative Inquiry to uncover our positive core and discover the best of what is—the strengths, wisdom, experience, passion, expertise, training, and skills that each team member and organization brings to the process. Building on these strengths, we began to dream about the future.

This week, we are highlighting the work of the Be Strong Families Regional Parent Engagement Advisory Groups (RPEAs). RPEAs are made up of parents who are ready to be the architects of change in the lives of children and families who have been trained in Parent Cafés and are committed to building Protective Factors.

“Obras son Amores No Buenas Razones” (Deeds Speak Louder than Words) … my mom, Ana Maria Gomez, used to say emphatically to my siblings and me a lot! I am a father who doesn’t say much, talk a lot about love, or expresses how much I love my family and friends… But oh man, do I enjoy it every time my wife or my children or my friends tell me they love me!

"Obras son Amores No Buenas Razones” ... solía decirnos mi mamá, Ana María Gómez enfáticamente a mí y a mis hermanos, ¡mucho!. Soy un papá que no dice mucho, que no habla mucho sobre el amor o que no expresa lo mucho que ama a su familia y amigos ... ¡Pero vaya que lo disfruto cada vez que mi esposa o mis hijos o amigos me dicen que me aman!